this morning my talented mother-in-law took pictures of zuri--while my mom and i assisted (one of the photos is mine). we had a lot of fun. thanks moms. some of my faves:
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
photo shoot
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
my thoughts
so i did it. i made it through the scariest thing i ever thought possible to go through--labor/delivery/breast feeding--and what i have now is the most beautiful thing in my arms. I AM SOOOO HAPPY. babies are sure funny looking and tend to look like old men, even when they are baby girls, but i love her so much.
yesterday was crazy. we got to the hospital at 6AM and i was so nervous. amanda hancock was incredible. nick and amanda tried to keep me entertained, because i would go through moments of nervous crying or freaking out--i was not excited to see dr fagerland show up, because that meant that things would begin. i will be honest, i am very private with my body and hated that it was going to be so exposed, but it is amazing how quickly you get over that. i had to start joking about it at first to get through, but realized that it was not a big deal to anyone else, so it shouldn't be for me.
dr fagerland go in around 7:30AM and broke my water. i was waiting for the flood gates to open and a tidal wave to come, but once again my imagination had overly dramatized what typically happens. it wasn't comfortable sitting in wetness, i must say.
nick and amanda became my posse in the hallways of the hospital. they were great to go along with all the things i kept telling them to do. we walked the hallways until 10AM and then amanda checked me--i was barely a 4--so we got back to the walking, after she stretched me a bit. after that things started to pick up. i started to feel the pain of contractions and by 11AM i was hurting. amanda had me sit on an excercise ball and roll my hips while she gave me the most incredible back massage through each contraction--which helped a ton. nick was doing great by holding my hands and encouraging me. i thought i was tough and that i was going to be strong, but when the contractions started to pick up all i wanted was relief. luckily amanda checked me and i had progressed enough that we could get the epidural in the works. amanda gave me some fentanyl and i was happy from that moment on--i felt weird--but i was happy. it made me super sleepy. the anethesiologist came just in time as the fentanyl was wearing off. i was super nervous about getting the "huge needle stuck in my spine" another thing i had overly dramatized--but it wasn't that bad. the only bad thing was that my bladder was soooo full from all the fluids i had been given that i ended peeing the bed a bit while the epidural was occuring. how embarassing. no control. the warming sensation on your legs with the numbness was so weird. especially on your "bottom" area. weird.
i was so lucky that my body kept progressing and i felt no pain. i took a couple naps to prepare me for the big moment--good thing because i did only 4 sets of pushes and was exhausted at the end. i became very nervous again, because the only thing left on the list was to do the actual birthing. once again dreading to see dr fagerland. got checked and was a 9. i wanted to keep on staying in this limbo moment, because i wasn't in pain and i was dreading the birthing part. we hung out for awhile and pretty soon i started feeling pressure down in the nether regions and amanda checked me and her face was classic--she notified me that the babies head was easily felt and that i was a 10. amanda was great and let nick glove up and check. he was so cute during this whole process. so excited and amazed. he kept pacing, which was so cute. tried to get video of him pacing, but not a success. just picture the classic hospital scene with the husband pacing--that was nick.
continued to feel pressure and amanda had already called dr fagerland and was notified that he was heading to mercy to perform a delivery of a girl that was having her 3rd baby. i was told to not push on any condition--but it was so hard because the whole day i was shaking and when i would start to shake my body would tense up. i kept feeling pressure and amanda gloved me up and i felt at a fingernails length her head. zuri hung out in that spot for a good 45 minutes, until dr fagerland showed up. he is a great doctor. he suited up quickly with his face shield (had no idea that is what they wore) and was standing behind the table with all the tools and i thought he looked like a japanese steak house chef ready to entertain us by tossing us shrimp.
amanda talked me through what i needed to do during my contractions--hold onto my knees, take a deep breath and push. sounded so easy, but when the first one came, i kept pushing in my face. it took a total of 4 sets of pushes/contractions and suddenly zuri's head popped out and then i stopped pushing and dr fagerland pulled the rest of the body out within a second. i thought the hard part hadn't happened--thinking that her shoulders would be the widest/hardest part, but was happily surprised to see that i was done.
instant love. when i saw her i was so happy. she looked like a cone head alien, but she was my cone head alien. i was teary eyed, nick was teary eyed. it was amazing.
things have been going too fast since that moment. so many firsts and i just want it to slow down. i was very happy to eat some food--loved the fruit/granola/yogurt dinner i had. so cute to see nick holding this small baby in his hands. throughout the pregnancy i talked to zuri about how she needed to stick to the 7lb limit. i guessed 7lbs, nick thought 7lbs 4oz, and amanda was kind (or i thought being kind) to guess 6lbs 14oz. we were amazed to see that she weighed only 6lbs. what a good, good girl. i think we are going to be a good team. she is 19 in long with her cone head, so we will see what she is today with her cone head quickly disappearing.
so she is getting so much cuter. she is a monson. i think she has nicks nose. i love her so much. i am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving her to me. i am so relieved that she is healthy. she hasn't cried hardly at all and she is good at sucking, besides the fact that she falls asleep instantly within 3 sucks.
thank you amanda for everything you did. thank you bob rose for stopping by and bringing food. we felt so blessed with good friends. thanks mare, bobs and emery for stopping by. we were so excited to share this moment with you. thank you everyone for your calls, texts, comments. we have never felt so much love.
my mom just walked into the room. have been so excited for her to be here. she had a crazy flight day/night to get here. let the party begin.
we love you all.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Michelle is doing great, still no need for ptosin as she is continuing to advance. The contractions are going well, but she is definitely feeling the pain a little more. She'll be getting the epidural as soon as they've seen she's advanced enough to know that it won't slow her contractions down too much. All is well.
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So Michelle is under way. As weird or odd as this may be, we figured it would be fun to keep everybody updated with her progress throughout the day on the blog. We got a new little pocket video cam that can catch the non-explicit material at its best. It's still rated PG-13 though, see for yourself.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Metamorphosis
So as we are about to have our first little baby, I have been amazed to see the changes that occur in both Michelle and the little duder growing inside (this is Nick writing by the way). It started off as just a little swelling in the belly and some nausea, and now is an actual human being living in my wife's nethers and knocking on the door of her abdomen to prove that she's there. There's nothing more insane than to be looking at Michelle's stomach and see the outline of a hand make an outdent? on her stomach. I'm so excited to meet my little daugher.
Michelle has really taken it for the team on this one; she comes home from work with kankles and puffy toes, but yet she has never stopped smiling or being her same beautiful self. I would not be handling this nearly as well as she is! I really am the luckiest guy to have found such an amazing wife.
Of course, it should be pointed out that she's not the only one who has been undergoing some "special" changes. I have undergone a slow process of beautification that is appreciated by very few, but should be recorded for posterity's sake. I am under strict orders, that there shall be no metaphorsososing when the baby is born, and that no remnant should be present when the delivery takes place. That means that there is some quick clean up work necessary since Michelle will be induced this week. We are both super excited, but realizing that with an induction date set, it's no longer "when?" but "Oh!"
I realized that being done with clinical rotations, and having no patient interaction until late June left me with ample time on my hands that I decided to dedicate to grooming. It began with a bushy beard:
This eventually led into my own personal favorite, the colonial soldier/motorcyclist:
To be honest, things went downhill from that beauty and turned into this...disco nick:
After that phase lost its awesomeativity, I decided to buy a van with no windows and give out free candy...yikes:
The final touch turned me into a circus ring leader or patisserie owner. Either way, it has taken way too much time to keep it trimmed correctly.
These pictures are further proof that Michelle is the most amazing wife. She has let me have these last 2 months of painful transformation, though not without lots of embarrassment. True story, we were on a walk when a random lady decided to start up a conversation with us. In the middle of the conversation, and without any transition, Michelle abruptly changed topics to explain to the lady that "his face doesn't usually look like this, he's just doing it as a joke." I guess I missed the joke because the mirror tells me it looks awesome. Just sayin'.
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